Joshua Jackson.

Or Pacey if you will.

Biggest crush. OF. MY. TEENAGE. LIFE.

I would watch Dawson’s Creek on a Tuesday evening, itching to get downstairs to the common room after the enforced study time at boarding school; before running back up to my room and crying myself to sleep. I loved him that much. Ok, sometimes I was crying for Joey and her own unrequited love but mostly I was crying that I could not have that man.

Years later, I am working on The Bowery in New York City, casually smoking an American Spirit outside my office and scowling, when I see a man.

An incredibly fit man.

He is smiling in my direction when the penny drops and my face contorts into Edvard Munch’s ‘The Scream’.

Then he starts to walk very briskly away from me.

I can’t move.

I’ve just blown my one chance with Pacey.

The universe will not permit me another and I know it.

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