50 shades of meh.

Sorry about the title.

It seems like everyone is either devouring or demonising this book right now and as someone who hasn’t read it and also has a blog I felt beyond obliged to put my two cents in.

Also, it was recently suggested on twitter that I spice up my writing in order to keep you all interested, fingers crossed I manage to be misinformed, opinionated and vulgar all at once.

HERE GOES.

People appear to be up in arms about 50 shades being a poor representation of BDSM and perhaps of women’s desires in general. It’s been suggested that the sex scenes are graphic but unrealistic, that readers could become confused about how one goes about getting women to climax and that that could be damaging.

I wonder about the women who are all immersed in this book on the tube.

Earlier today, I overheard a man jokingly chastise a woman for carrying it, his argument being that women would be offended if men started reading books about sex on the tube. Although tempting, I did not shout from across the waiting room, “PAGE 3, ALL ADVERTISEMENTS, READILY ACCESSIBLE PORNOGRAPHY TARGETED AT MEN AND ALL MEDIA IN GENERAL, SHUT UP AND MIND YOUR BUSINESS, LET THE WOMAN ENJOY HER PERVY LITERATURE.”

This is the thing.

Chicks dig words.

They get them off.

I think that some people are still uncomfortable knowing that women are getting off.

DAMN WOMEN.

Whilst at boarding school, I gathered together with a group my friends, we pooled our money and bought a copy of the Karma Sutra, an anthology of erotic short stories and whatever other hardcover filth we could order from a book catalogue, so that we did not have to face a cashier in a bookshop.

That anthology got read aloud after lights out for a year. Mostly by me, but I did not receive any complaints from the other young women listening intently.

We got off.

A lot of the stories were naff but we got off.

This is why I’m not up in arms about a pervy book that women like. It doesn’t matter if it’s unrealistic. Lots of women are getting off and getting off is good.

I’m well aware that I will not orgasm if a man touches my face with a rose, but I can dream can’t I?

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