I ‘m a ‘difficult’ woman.
Don’t try and convince me otherwise, my mother would testify to this in court. As would most exes, teachers, acquaintances and hospitality staff who have ever met me.
I used to get upset about it. When I was a kid and my mum used to tell me I was ‘difficult’ with a wee smile, like she was proud, I didn’t understand that it was meant as a compliment.
What it really means is that I know what I want and I’ll make sure you know it too. I’m assertive and opinionated. There are obvious caveats; I won’t blindly wade into arguments without authority on the subject. For the most part, I won’t be rude or mean or vindictive. My assertive nature doesn’t mean I’m immune to wild insecurity but you won’t be able to tell.
This hasn’t always made me very popular. Assertive. Opinionated. These are seen as stereotypically masculine traits.
This is what upset me when I was a kid. Being called ‘difficult’ confirmed my fears that I wasn’t feminine enough to be loved. I couldn’t change these traits so I wore an alice band in my hair every day until I was 27 in hopes of dampening my image as ‘difficult’ but then I was just ‘difficult’ with a bow on. The older I got, the less it dampened anything.
Think about it. A ‘difficult’ girl with a hair accessory is kind of quirky. She could be your manic pixie dream girl, if only she would keep her voice down. However, a ‘difficult’ woman with a hair accessory, she might throw things*.
I guess that’s why the Pantene Advert made me cry. http://youtu.be/kOjNcZvwjxI
*I don’t throw things. I have manners.